Day Two
Good Morning, or hey... How do you know if it is really a good morning, don't you have to wait until it is over to see how the morning went? So far, not the best I have had.
Woke up early all ready to do my new morning routine and much to my surprise or really much to my disappointment, children are sleeping in my living room and in my recliner. This makes me so mad. So I said to myself, take a breath, have a cup of coffee and figure something else out.
So a few words about disappointment..... This is the enemy, i am tired of being disappointed by life or what life brings. I want it all but I can't seem to get there. I should clarify what I mean by I want it all. I want to enjoy my life. I want to spend time with my children the way I used to, go to all there sporting events, and special events, hang with them on weekends, watch movies with them, have dinner with them, play cards with them. They are only small once, and when they become teenagers, most of this stuff ends. Sure you still get to go to the sporting events and other special events but the hanging out stuff slowly ends for a while. Because they get new friends, which you really want them to do. Go grow up, enjoy life.....secretly wish they would stay with you for awhile longer, of course, I am torn because I also want them to leave me alone so I can do the things I want to do too!!!!!
Anyways, I am all over the place today. I have to be disappointed as so do other people. I hate it when I become disillusioned. Let's talk about my job for awhile. Oh, yeah, this is probably job suicide by the way but here goes. I spent the last several years going to school. GOING TO BRAG HERE, GIVE ME A MINUTE..... I have a degree from SUNY Cobleskill Early Childhood Development, Did that with a 4.0. Awesome, don't you think. Then three years at Hartwick, Bachelors Degree in Anthropology and Elementary Education Certification, graduated with honors and a 3.8. Also awesome, so proud of myself since I couldn't get through high school. I found out that I a very intelligent, high IQ and all that stuff. I love science, math and finding out how the brain works. oh, did I mention that I also had a concentration in Cognitive Science while at Hartwick, that was just for fun!!!
OK, so I am done pumping myself up, here is the reality, I go into the real world, not the academic world and what do I find, no jobs that use Anthropology unless you want to get a doctorate, AT 40 something, who has time to get that...... I would be in school until i am 50, which I would not mind but who is going to pay the bills and I wont live long enough to pay off the massive loans.. disappointment! So I am now disillusioned, I have a job that many people around would want. I run the daily operations at a up and coming International software company. Sounds cool right. This company is right on the cusp of greatness, we all see it. We all feel it. wow, to be apart of something.....apart of something..... apart of something....
sorry, my mind got stuck, what am I really apart of.... right now nothing. This company with all its potential sucks to work for. The leader has no really management skills and does not know how to lead. I give him credit that he tries hard, works hard but he makes working there unbearable. I hate going to work, I hate getting emails from him, I hate talking to him. it is awful... the anger, the frustration, the disappointment when you realize what it could be and how far we are from that goal. Also, to add to it, this is not what I want to be doing. I want to be with people. Learning, sharing, teaching.
Part two of disillusionment, When I started out to get my teaching certification, I was gung-ho... I was going to do, be teacher, give back to my community, teach the children. I had spent the last 15 years working with young children running my own daycare, and as a preschool teacher. Now I do not want to step into a classroom, not because I don't want to teach but because the educational system sucks.. It is antiquated and so far behind the times, it set limits and innovation is discouraged. SO upsetting....
SO how to I set about change in my life.... As far a teaching goes, I have a plan and I have been sticking to it. I started a foundation several years ago with my dear friend Barbara Johnson, who pasted away a few years ago. But our dream still lives today, with the help of many dedicated community members we have done many things for the community. My foundation is working towards providing and support educational experiences for students of all ages in the areas of science and technology which is often lacking in rural environments. Some of the things we have done so far include a Technology Award to a Graduating Senior, last year we gave out an Iphone with a Two year contract. This year we are giving out a NETBOOK computer. GRLIC (the foundation) also supports and runs the daily operations of a new public radio station. Wow, me in radio, who would have thought that. I have met many amazing people on my quest to get this up and going. People from all walks of life. I have new friends, Joe, Jane and Darn to name a few. SO what is my change dream for this.. I want to quit my job and work full time for this amazing organization so that my community can grow and learn and students will reap the benefits of my hard work. Maybe some out there can help me! You can donate to this organization see the button located on this page to make a donation.
Sorry, this is a rambling this morning, so many things are on my mind today. Did I forget to mention that to day is Friday and my daughters 17th birthday.. Maybe I am feeling alittle more then usual because of all those implications. who knows.. I apologize for the length of this post but it is my blog and I want to get all those things out in the open. look for todays recipe and exercise rant. Later today yummmy!
Woke up early all ready to do my new morning routine and much to my surprise or really much to my disappointment, children are sleeping in my living room and in my recliner. This makes me so mad. So I said to myself, take a breath, have a cup of coffee and figure something else out.
So a few words about disappointment..... This is the enemy, i am tired of being disappointed by life or what life brings. I want it all but I can't seem to get there. I should clarify what I mean by I want it all. I want to enjoy my life. I want to spend time with my children the way I used to, go to all there sporting events, and special events, hang with them on weekends, watch movies with them, have dinner with them, play cards with them. They are only small once, and when they become teenagers, most of this stuff ends. Sure you still get to go to the sporting events and other special events but the hanging out stuff slowly ends for a while. Because they get new friends, which you really want them to do. Go grow up, enjoy life.....secretly wish they would stay with you for awhile longer, of course, I am torn because I also want them to leave me alone so I can do the things I want to do too!!!!!
Anyways, I am all over the place today. I have to be disappointed as so do other people. I hate it when I become disillusioned. Let's talk about my job for awhile. Oh, yeah, this is probably job suicide by the way but here goes. I spent the last several years going to school. GOING TO BRAG HERE, GIVE ME A MINUTE..... I have a degree from SUNY Cobleskill Early Childhood Development, Did that with a 4.0. Awesome, don't you think. Then three years at Hartwick, Bachelors Degree in Anthropology and Elementary Education Certification, graduated with honors and a 3.8. Also awesome, so proud of myself since I couldn't get through high school. I found out that I a very intelligent, high IQ and all that stuff. I love science, math and finding out how the brain works. oh, did I mention that I also had a concentration in Cognitive Science while at Hartwick, that was just for fun!!!
OK, so I am done pumping myself up, here is the reality, I go into the real world, not the academic world and what do I find, no jobs that use Anthropology unless you want to get a doctorate, AT 40 something, who has time to get that...... I would be in school until i am 50, which I would not mind but who is going to pay the bills and I wont live long enough to pay off the massive loans.. disappointment! So I am now disillusioned, I have a job that many people around would want. I run the daily operations at a up and coming International software company. Sounds cool right. This company is right on the cusp of greatness, we all see it. We all feel it. wow, to be apart of something.....apart of something..... apart of something....
sorry, my mind got stuck, what am I really apart of.... right now nothing. This company with all its potential sucks to work for. The leader has no really management skills and does not know how to lead. I give him credit that he tries hard, works hard but he makes working there unbearable. I hate going to work, I hate getting emails from him, I hate talking to him. it is awful... the anger, the frustration, the disappointment when you realize what it could be and how far we are from that goal. Also, to add to it, this is not what I want to be doing. I want to be with people. Learning, sharing, teaching.
Part two of disillusionment, When I started out to get my teaching certification, I was gung-ho... I was going to do, be teacher, give back to my community, teach the children. I had spent the last 15 years working with young children running my own daycare, and as a preschool teacher. Now I do not want to step into a classroom, not because I don't want to teach but because the educational system sucks.. It is antiquated and so far behind the times, it set limits and innovation is discouraged. SO upsetting....
SO how to I set about change in my life.... As far a teaching goes, I have a plan and I have been sticking to it. I started a foundation several years ago with my dear friend Barbara Johnson, who pasted away a few years ago. But our dream still lives today, with the help of many dedicated community members we have done many things for the community. My foundation is working towards providing and support educational experiences for students of all ages in the areas of science and technology which is often lacking in rural environments. Some of the things we have done so far include a Technology Award to a Graduating Senior, last year we gave out an Iphone with a Two year contract. This year we are giving out a NETBOOK computer. GRLIC (the foundation) also supports and runs the daily operations of a new public radio station. Wow, me in radio, who would have thought that. I have met many amazing people on my quest to get this up and going. People from all walks of life. I have new friends, Joe, Jane and Darn to name a few. SO what is my change dream for this.. I want to quit my job and work full time for this amazing organization so that my community can grow and learn and students will reap the benefits of my hard work. Maybe some out there can help me! You can donate to this organization see the button located on this page to make a donation.
Sorry, this is a rambling this morning, so many things are on my mind today. Did I forget to mention that to day is Friday and my daughters 17th birthday.. Maybe I am feeling alittle more then usual because of all those implications. who knows.. I apologize for the length of this post but it is my blog and I want to get all those things out in the open. look for todays recipe and exercise rant. Later today yummmy!
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