Struggling

So, I am really struggling this week. I absolutely hate my job and things are getting worse. I hate everyday. Today, I am having trouble even getting ready to go to work. What is it that does this to me? I am thinking up any excuse to not go. I have so many other things to do, it is riduculous. so many things that I want to do.

I will tell you what I want to do. I want to spend all my time working at my foundation. I want to work with kids everyday. I want to learn more about so many things. I want to have no bills as least no loan payments. not sure how that is going to work out! I would love to make a paycheck doing the things I want to do. Someone tell me how you do that? How is it that people figure it out? Do they have a fairly god mother so something? Some people are just at the right place at the right time, I guess. Why can't that person be me?

I am going to go to work today because I have to. Not because I want to. I would love it if I could go to the GRLIC office and work on my foundation. I still have to write what I am going to say tomorrow at graduation when I present the Technology Award.

Hey, now this may sound crazy but do you talk to yourself, like have thoughts inside your head that you think are great but when you try to explain them to someone else, it is just not the same. I always have plenty to say and it makes sense to me inside my head but when I try to put it out there, it really just falls flat. Story of my life.

It looks like this will be a busy weekend. Graduation, Graduation parties, Camping, Kingston for me time and of course I have to spend sometime working for my job! Urgh! I hate that it spills over into my regular life. More resumes going out today! Someone save me, please!

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